Another way Need manifests in the unprepared negotiator is the untimely and unnecessary breach of your Integral Resilience Container, or what my old friend and colleague, fighter pilot Jim Camp, referred quaintly to as “spilling your candy in the lobby.” All that Spilling important information and Dumping emotions reveal is your own neediness. They do not advance your cause one iota. In fact, they set you back. So be quite self-aware and self-disciplined around this common tendency.
Practice:
- 3 times this week where you resisted the temptation to spill information or dump emotions, and recorded the Outcomes in your Field Notes.