Neutralizing “The Shadow Game” and “Shadow Players who seek to ally and weaken us by engaging our own Inner Shadow—The world today is increasingly dominated by shadowy forces. Can you spot 10 important tactics or “moves”? See if you can discover how to apply Kokoro to neutralize each one of these Shadow plays. Hint: Find the exact opposite of each Shadow play that moves you toward the Light.
# 3. Neutralizing “The Shadow Game”) and “Shadow Players who seek to ally and weaken us by engaging our own Inner Shadow.
The “Shadow” is a term invented by Carl G. Jung, the great Swiss psychiatrist who referred to the part of our psyche that is largely unconscious—a source of hidden desires, fears, conceits, trauma, emotions, rage, but also and at the same time enormous power and beauty.—(hover). The world today is increasingly dominated by shadowy forces. Can you spot 10 important tactics or “moves”? See if you can discover how to apply Kokoro to neutralize each one of these Shadow plays. Hint: Find the exact opposite of each Shadow play that moves you toward the Light.
Practices
- Player Integrity Profiles (PIPS): Know Yourself, Know Your Opponent
- Immediately complete a PIPS on yourself. (insert link)
- Now run a joint PIPS on yourself and the other (insert link for joint PIPS) Note where you are strong and where they are strong; also note their weaknesses and yours. This is the point where you are most vulnerable. Adopt specific Wisdom Practices to strengthen this weakness in your behavior or character.
Honing your Shadow Deciphering capability. Take every important principle or move in Resilient Negotiation (based on integrity and Big Heart Intelligence (BHI)) and state the very opposite, i.e. that which undermines integrity and narrows our perspective so we become vulnerable to aggression, greed, and selfishness. Pay attention! You are entering the lair of the Shadow players.
- Example # 1: Kokoro/BHI move: View negotiations (i.e. navigating) as an ongoing process of discovery; Shadow Game: View negotiations as having a discrete goal: i.e. to Get to Yes…. When one side stops negotiating and the Shadow Players take advantage of this blindness their Agenda.
- Example # 2: Kokoro/BHI move: Test Critical Assumptions; Shadow Game: Embed false and controlling assumptions with the intention to deceive.
- Example # 3: Kokoro/BHI move: Power of
“NO”. Exercise your right to say ‘No’; accept a “No” and explore your new options. Flow. Shadow Game: Hide the “NO”; place the adversary in the Pain and Need around Uncertainty. (Note: Untrained negotiators fear Uncertainty, when professional negotiators understand that Uncertainty can be source of great Creativity.) - Sophisticated Shadow. Be aware that the Shadow Game is so sophisticated and culturally embedded that some Shadow Players may not even be aware that they are pawns in a larger Shadow Game. We call these “”unwitting Shadow Players.” They literally do not know what they do. ( See: New Testament—Jesus’ last words: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34)
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